Every Minute You are Angry, You Lose a Minute of Possible Happiness

Most everyone is somehow affected by infertility.  We may all have to deal with it at one point in life whether it’s you personally who is being affects or it’s your brother, sister, son, daughter, family member, neighbor, friend, co-worker, ex. Most all of us have been affected by it somehow. Regardless of how you are affected, infertility is usually an uncomfortable and hard subject to deal with. It’s hard for us who are going through it to stay positive and it can be difficult for those who are not, to understand it. Everyone has a different perspectives on it and that’s okay. I’m here to inform you that even though it is uncomfortable, it is surprisingly not a bad thing.

Nathan and I have been dealing with the effects of infertility for almost three years now which is not really that long compared to others but even still it is one of the hardest trials we have had to face thus far. There is nothing that can compare to the feelings of wanting a child so dearly but not being able to have it. In the LDS culture we view family as our number one priority and are kind of expected to get married and bring children into this world to be raised in good righteous homes. So anyone can see why it would become devastating when a person is not able to fulfil that covenant at this time. I have seen many of people that are suffering become angry and bitter at god. They begin to resent him and they ask and pray as to why they are suffering and may become inpatient with god’s answers and timing. They being to push people away and those who are close to them. They become easily offended and take things personal. I’m definitely not perfect and I have experienced these same feelings of bitterness myself. I have felt the many emotions that come with infertility but one thing I have not done is lost faith. To all of you who have been hurt in life, I want you to know that god has not forgotten about you. God does not give us trials in life so we can become bitter, lose friends and family, or to suffer. He is not punishing us. In fact it’s quite opposite. He is reminding us that he is there to help us and he wants us to come unto him. I honestly feel that we are given trials in life to become stronger and closer to our father in heaven by leaning on him and allowing him in our life. Always look at the positive in life. I promise that if you do, life will be so much more enjoyable and happier. Your burdens and trials will be easier to face. I try to always look at the positive and the good things I have gained and not lost through this trial of mine. Infertility has brought me closer to many of people, it has given me the privilege to help others through my experience, and has brought me new friends. It has made me a better friend as I can talk to those who are dealing with trials on a more personal level. I have grown immensely closer to my sweetheart Nathan as we go through this together as a team, and I have become so close to my father in heaven on a whole new level. I understand his thinking and way so much more. I appreciate his timing and what he has given me. I have gained total faith that  Nate and I will have children. Whether it's in this life or the next, we will have children!

I am so so blessed. One of my favorite quotes is “Every second there is someone out there who is praying to have the life that you are complaining about.” Even though infertility is so hard and hurts on such a deep level, my trials in life are so few and I am so blessed. I wouldn’t trade my life or trials for anything! For they are what bless me and shape me into who I am today.

Now I know for a fact how hard life can be. For those suffering, it is hard to stay positive and have faith at times. Especially when we don’t understand the outcome and timing of our trials. It is hard not to be bitter for those who are blessed with what you do not have. With infertility, it can be difficult at times to put on a happy face but for Nathan and my own friends, we want you to know that we truly are so ecstatic for you! We do not want anyone to be afraid to ask us questions or to tell us of their good news. Through our trial we have gained appreciation for the blessing of family and children. We now know and understand what a blessing it is to have a family and we are so so happy for you. Don’t take your little ones for granted!

If you are someone who has a family member, friend, or neighbor that is going through a hard time. Be patient and understanding. Try to be sensitive to others needs. We are also learning and nobody is perfect.  Life is meant for learning and growing.

If you are going through a trial, stay positive no matter what, don’t let life get the best of you or bring you down. Allow yourself to grow from your trials and to become stronger from them. Lean from your trials and mistakes and help others in their trials. Stay faithful and hopeful. If you do all you can do on your part, then the lord will do his!

Always remember that every day is a new day and the sun is still going to rise every morning and set every evening. Enjoy life. Remember that every minute you are angry, you lose a minute of possible happiness.