Even Miracles Take A Little Time

Sorry for the long post but here we go. Our story. I dedicate this post to wonderful Disney. Almost every little girl dreams of what their life will be like when they are older. I grew up watching and loving the Disney princess movies... (Beauty and the Beast being my favorite) and dreaming of my someday fairy tail. I remember dreaming of my very handsome prince charming that would love and adore me and how I would love and adore him back. I would dream of having a home with a large family. Our home would be full of laughter, giggles, smiles, hugs, and kisses. At one point I remember seriously wanting like twelve children. I always thought big families were the way to go! Well that far away fairy tale was really not that far away at all. Before I knew it I had met my very handsome prince charming that I absolutely more than adore. I feel SO INCREDIBLY blessed to have found him. He treats me like a queen and is the most gentle, kind, loving, faithful, worthy prince any princess could ask for. We were married and sealed together for time and for all eternity in the LDS salt lake city temple/Castle! That was truly the happiest day of our lives. My fairy tale was coming true! Only a few months later we bought our first home together! I adore this home! It's little and old but the happiness that is felt here is unconditional. I truly do live a fairy tale but the only thing missing is the sweet laughter of our someday children... Nate and I LOVE children and have always wanted a big family. We decided it was our time to add to our family back in September 2012. We tried for about nine months when it finally happened! We were pregnant. We were excited and very nervous all at the same time. We couldn't be happier but... something wasn't right. I carried up until week 14 when I then miscarried. That was the most devastating day. To feel so close to something and then to have it taken from us so abruptly. (I will share that earlier post from my previous blog for those who would like to read it.) I allowed my heart and body to recover for a few months before we decided it was time yet again. We tired and hoped, and hoped some more but as each month passed by we became more devastated. I started having irregular spotting at the most random times so I finally broke down and went to my doctor. They ran a few tests and found that I wasn't ovulating and my hormones were all over the place. The doctors were hopeful and told me that it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed. The plan was to start Clomid which is a drug to help stimulate your egg production and ovulation. Things seemed okay at the time but then we got the call... Not only am I not ovulating but Nate isn't producing sperm. Our doctors office basically told us that it was too complicated for them and that we were going to need much more help than we anticipated. That was such a sad and emotional day. Our dreams of having children were slipping further and further away. We took some time to let it sink in. I work in the mother/baby unit in the hospital and I see the effects of infertitily constantly. I NEVER thought that we would be one to deal with infertility. I never could have imagined it would be us. Some day's it feels like a bad dream and I can't wait for it to end. Not all days are bad but some days are definitely harder than others. People say inconsiderate unintelligent things not knowing of what we are going through. I try to put on a happy face but some days the pain is so bad that I find myself sobbing in the shower or crying myself to sleep so Nathan doesn't see me because I want to spare him from any pain possible.  But I know that there is hope. Cinderella Sang "No Matter How your Heart is Grieving, If you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true."
We have sense been with the Infertility Clinic in pleasant grove. Our doctor is Dr. Conway which we LOVE. She is amazing and everything a doctor should be! We are beginning the series of tests and exams which is going to be a long journey and we haven't even touched the surface yet... but I'll save that part for another post another day because things are very complicated right now and it seems like every time we go into the clinic things just continue to get more complicated. But I do know that miracles happen and I have witnessed them happen many times myself. I know that bad days come to an end and that good always triumphs. It's been very difficult to stay positive and keep hopeful through everything but I believe in the power of Faith! I know that the rest of our fairy tale will come true someday. I just need to stay hopeful and be patient.
Fairy God Mother once said "Even Miracles Take A Little time."