Faith in Christ

(This is an older blog post that I saved from my previous blog. I thought some might like to read it so I'm re-posting it.)
A lot of people have come to me as of late to ask about certain experiences that have occurred in my life. Some are harder to talk about then others but I feel that through certain experiences, we are able to help others in times of need with comfort, advice, and understanding love. I have been on both ends of the spectrum at times. I have been the one giving advice and also receiving it. My latest trial in life is definitely hard to talk about, but I feel that writing about it is helping me to carry on and will hopefully be able to comfort others whom are experiencing the same thing.
A little over a year ago, Nathan and I had decided to go to the temple. Our LDS temples are a place that we go to pray,  receive inspiration, and to be comforted in times of need. It is a place where we can escape from the busyness and loudness of the world. It's a place to search, ponder, and pray. My sweetheart and I both had a prompting that it was time to start preparing for children. We felt encouraged to start a family. Both of us were nervous but also very excited. Neither of us had been planning on starting our family this soon, so we prayed about it and it felt like the right thing to do. I had expected to become pregnant immediately due to the fact that everyone on both sides of our families had never seemed to have any trouble. In-fact, it almost felt like the opposite. Like they had trouble NOT getting pregnant. So as each month past by with us not getting pregnant, I began to feel frustrated, scared, and worried. I found that as each month past, I wanted nothing more than to become pregnant. After trying for about ten long months, my sweetheart and I were finally bless! WE WERE PREGNANT!!! I had so many emotions running through me. It was all I could think about!
I was definitely scared about school and work, but I was extremely confident about raising our little one. I was so happy because I felt like I finally knew exactly what I was meant to do. Both of our families were ecstatic about the news and so happy that Nathan and I were finally going to be parents. As my pregnancy continued, I became more and more sick. I was throwing up about an average of six times a day, and found myself laying on the couch as much as possible. I didn't care how sick I was, I was just so happy that my baby was healthy. I had some worries about my pregnancy, but the doctor assured me that all was well and healthy. I had heard my sweet little baby's heart beating so strong, which made Nathan and me instantly fall in love. It's a love that is so eternal that it can never be broken. We only became more an more excited about our little ones arrival. It was like a dream come true when it was suddenly interrupted and taken away. I started having extreme heavy bleeding at thirteen weeks. We got to our doctors as soon as possible, only to have bad news. No Heartbeat. Our little one was gone. I can not express exactly how I felt other than extreme heartbroken. I never realized how devastating a miscarriage could be.  
I felt every emotion, depressed, angry, devastation, extreme sadness, guilt, confusion, worry, but I never felt lonely. The entire time I felt comforted. I could feel the prayers and love of all my family and friends and especially my heavenly father. I felt the holy spirit through everything and was so comforted by it. I had a DnC a few days after learning of our loss. This experience had to be the hardest trial Nathan and myself have ever experienced. But through it all I learned so many important lessons. I learned to trust in my Lord Jesus Christ, that everything will be okay. I love a quote from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) stating "The Lord knows your trials. He knows your victories. And if you trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge him, he shall direct thy paths". Only faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement can bring us peace, hope, and understanding. I am so glad that I have this gospel in my life. I don't know how anyone could go through what I just went through without having the understanding of this true gospel. I also learned that families truly are forever, and that is why being sealed in the LDS temple for time and for all eternity is so important. I became so much closer to my sweet Nathan from this trial, closer than I ever though possible, because not only are we bound together on this earth, but we have and eternal bound waiting for us in heaven. I am so glad that both Nathan and myself have lived our lives is such a way that both us and our children could be sealed to us for time and for all eternity.
I know that my baby lived because I saw and heard it's strong little heart beating a couple of times and I felt its sweet pure spirit. I truly believe that we will see our baby again in the celestial kingdom. Our baby is healthy and happy there. It makes me want to live my life in such a way to insure that I see my baby again.
I know that my savior lives and that he gives us these trials to become stronger and to help others. Dallin H. Oaks once said "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a conviction and trust that God knows us and loves us and will hear our prayers and answer them with what is best for us". I know that we will get pregnant again when the time is right. I have become so much stronger because of this and it has made me so much closer to my savior in heaven. I hope that my experience will help to heal the hearts of others and to help them come unto Christ. I love life and have faith that all will work out in the end. 

Where It All Began

 

Our Story began in August of 2010. I was a student at Utah Valley University studying nursing, and Nathan had just recently returned from serving an LDS mission in Spain for 2 years and was now starting his first semester at UVU studying Spanish and Business. We met in our singles ward, both being called as "ward pray coordinators". We instantly hit it off and were engaged by February. We are truly Best friends and always will be. We were married and sealed for time and for all eternity in the Salt Lake City Utah LDS temple on  May 6th, 2011. We have now been married for almost four years which I can honestly say that they have been the best years of my life!
Nathan and I now are still working hard and staying very busy with our jobs and school. I work as a PCT(tech) at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in the Mother/Baby Department, which i absolutely LOVE and have my own photography business call "Pure Moments Photography". Nathan manages a marketing firm in Draper called Contactics. He absolutely Loves it there and they treat him so well. I am currently studying Nursing and will graduate this August! Yay! Nathan is getting close to getting his degree in business and is now contemplating the idea of getting an MBA(Masters in Business). Can I just say that we both can not wait to be finished with our degrees!
We own a cute little home in Provo. It's small but we love it. It's nice, warm, and comforting. It is definitely not just a house but a home, a happy home and a refuge from the world. We have so many more things to look forward to in life and we couldn't be more thrilled that we get to experience all of them by each others side.